I’ve spent the better part of the last couple of weeks reading everyone’s “Best of 2011″ song lists. I’ve listened to a lot of different music in 2011 and I thought it might be fun to do my own list and share it with you all. I should warn you now, this isn’t an exciting list. In fact, there are quite a few sad, depressing songs on the list, but there is a reason why every single one of them made it on, so I hope you’ll take the time to read them over. And hey, maybe you’ll discover a song you hadn’t heard before, which would make me very happy.

So here they are, my Top 10 Songs of 2011, according to last.fm and other technical thing-a-muh-hoojets. And assuming some of you don’t actually make it to the bottom of this blog post, I figured I’d go ahead and wish you all a very Happy New Year. Here’s hoping your 2012 is full of health, happiness, and many blessings. :)

Dizzy’s Top 10 of 2011:

10: “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey: Thanks to the TuneIn app for my Android, I’ve discovered some great radio stations from around the word. My favorite station, by far, is 97.7 XFM out of Manchester. Thanks to a top-notch playlist, I’ve been listening to some music that would’ve otherwise went under my music radar. One of the artists I discovered via XFM is Lana Del Rey. The first time I heard “Born to Die”, I actually got goosebumps. She had me with the very first couple of lines. It’s such an epic, depressing song…and I love it! The video is beautiful and insane…and I love it! And is it just me or does Lana look exactly like Ginny Baker, Samantha’s slightly bitchy and over-medicated sister, from Sixteen Candles? Keep your eye on this one. I have a feeling she’s about to hit it big here in the States.

9: “Same Old You” by Miranda Lambert: I do love me some Miranda Lambert. In fact, I love her so much that she makes this list twice. But let’s take one song at a time, shall we?

I picked “Same Old You” for my Top 10 because it’s my favorite from Four the Record. The entire album is a tour de force and firmly cements Miranda as the baddest, boldest chick in country music at the moment. I’ve read a lot of mixed reviews about the album and I think most people were confused by the creative “risks” that Miranda took with some of the songs, most notably “Fine Tune”. Personally, I love the fact that she went outside the box and her comfort zone on some of the songs, but to each their own.

And while “Same Old You” isn’t the flashiest song on the album, it is, in my opinion, one of the best. The amazingly talented Brandi Carlile wrote the song for Miranda and provided background vocals. For all the fuss about Miranda’s musical direction, I think people need to look no further than this song to see where she stands.

“You can keep your ring and I’ll keep my Daddy’s name.” Is it possible to marry a lyric?

8: “Howlin’ for You” by The Black Keys: There’s nothing I love better than an ass-kicking rock band, which is probably why Brothers and El Camino by the Black Keys were two of my favorite albums of the year. Every single track was bang-up, but it was “Howlin’ for You” that stood out the most for me. I’m not afraid to admit that I openly squealed with glee when I heard this in the pilot episode for Once Upon a Time. It’s such a fun, sexy, catchy tune.

As for the video, well it’s got Trisha Helfer in underwear and leather, so what’s not to love? Seriously, we need a movie out of this. I’m looking at you Tarantino.

7: “If I Had A Gun” by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds: I spent the better part of my junior and senior year of high school trying to decide who I wanted to be more: Alanis Morissette or Cher Horowitz, and listening to (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? in my bedroom over and over and over until I had Oasis’d myself and everyone around me out. At that time in my life, the songs on that album spoke to me in ways that nothing else really did. “Wonderwall” was the answer to everything. I was this angsty teenage girl who had finally come into a rebellious stage and this was the soundtrack to all of those feelings that were bursting out of me.

When most people think of Oasis, they think of Liam Gallagher’s bad behavior and legendary sibling rivalry with his brother and band mate, Noel. It’s a natural response considering all the gossip over the years about drug and alcohol induced concerts and fist fights between the two. If you push all of that muck aside though and really break the group down in terms of what they’ve delivered, you can’t deny that Oasis is an important part of rock history. They have inspired so many bands and artists over the years and their songs are considered classics by many, myself included.

I have a deep love and appreciation for Oasis and the creative brainchild that is Noel Gallagher, which is why I’m elated that he’s back with his High Flying Birds and releasing beautiful songs like “If I Had a Gun”. Here’s hoping that a new generation of angsty teens fall in love with his music like I did.

6: “Poison & Wine” by the Civil Wars: If there is any justice in this world, the Civil Wars will win every Grammy award that they’re nominated for. I’m a little miffed that country radio hasn’t embraced them as they deserve, but they’ve developed quite a huge following, despite the lack of radio airplay. You don’t have to be a country fan to appreciate the impressive songwriting and vocals of Joy Williams and John Paul White.

I picked “Poison & Wine” for the list because it’s beautiful and heartbreaking…two of my favorite musical components. I also played this song obsessively for weeks at a time. I think that counts for something.

Side note: I love how they get right in each others face, practically cheek to cheek, in their videos.

5: “Gonna Get Over You” by Sara Bareilles: Simply put, this song makes me happy. Like, jump up on a table and sing out loud like an idiot happy. Yeah, that happy. And the video is adorable. I love Sara Bareilles. :)

4: “Housewife’s Prayer” by Pistol Annies: Let’s be honest, country music radio is horrible. Has been for years. You’ve got these numbskull program directors listening to numbskull radio reps who wouldn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground, yet pretty much dictate what does and doesn’t get played on the radio. And I know it isn’t exclusive to just the country format, but since we’re talking about a country song now, we’re going to stay on that path.

So yeah, country radio sucks. Real country music, and I mean the good stuff, is rarely heard. The definition of “real country music” is a topic which has been hotly debated over the years, and depending on the types of music you prefer, you either listen to country radio or turn your nose up at it.

Me? I love good songwriting. It’s as simple as that. Sure I have some guilty pleasure songs, but at the core of my tastes is a desire for a strong message, whatever that message may be. It just has to be real and honest. Something with emotion that reaches right into my chest and grabs my heart with both hands and squeezes. I tend to listen to anything of the alt-country or classic country persuasion. You know, stuff you won’t hear on the radio. *grumbles*

I think that’s why the Pistol Annies is one of my favorite artists at the moment. Yes, I love Miranda Lambert, but this group and these songs aren’t just about Miranda. It’s about three amazing singer-songwriters who’ve decided to go back to the basics. Every single track of their self-titled debut could’ve been recorded 30 years ago. It’s classic, but it’s still contemporary. It’s got attitude, but it’s still soft. And oh my lord, it’s real and it’s honest.

We’re talking about gold-diggers, baby carriages before marriage, mufflers tied on with guitar strings, and boys below the Mason-Dixon line. More importantly, we’ve got three women: Angaleena Presley (Holler Annie…my favorite!), Ashley Monroe, and Miranda Lambert, lending their pens, their hearts, their souls, their experiences, and their distinct voices into these songs.

I picked “Housewife’s Prayer” as one of my top favorites of 2011 because it’s my favorite track on the album. I found myself listening to this song over and over and just loving it more with every listen. I can identify with the woman Angaleena is channeling. I know all about the stress of bills, kids, and marital life. And while her housewife prefers to down her troubles with alcohol,pills, and the threat of burning the whole damn house down, I deal with mine in less dramatic means: books, Twitter, and damn good music that the assholes at corporate radio are too dumb to play.

3: “Never Let Me Go” and “Shake It Out” by Florence + the Machine: I am the biggest Florence Welch fan. She’s like some amazing fairy goddess with her flowing gowns and red hair and bare feet. She’s some sort of ethereal, woodland nymph that dances around on stage, putting everyone in a trance. And that voice? Perfection. It’s wonderful to think of something so strong coming out of someone who is so very soft-spoken.

Florence’s debut album, Lungs, has been one of my favorite albums for some time now, so much so that I listen to it pretty much every day. And because I think of it as this brilliant piece of work, it’s fair to say that I had a lot of trepidation about whether her sophomore effort would venture off the path that I had come to love so much. I really had nothing to worry about. Whereas Lungs is very unworldly, Ceremonials is full of so many dramatic twists and turns. It’s darker and yet very soulful. There’s bluesy gospel choirs and beating drums. It’s big and bold and everything you’d want and expect from Florence.

I had a difficult time picking just one favorite from the album, so I’m picking two. The first is “Never Let Me Go”, which is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard in a very long time. The second is “Shake It Out”, which is about shaking out all of your regrets and moving on.

Bow to the genius that is Florence + the Machine.

2: “Wetsuit” by The Vaccines: Add this one to the “Discovered on XFM” list. Most people went with “Norgaad” for their lists, but it was “Wetsuit” that won me over. I turned 34 this year and somewhere in the midst of me feeling depressed about getting older and watching my son turn into a hormonal, angry teenager, the Vaccines came along to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I needed to stop worrying about turning older and start enjoying life just a little more. I needed to grab it by the balls, throw caution to the wind, and get to living and loving more. This could be the anthem for anyone of any age who is desperately trying to hold on to whatever youth they can. My resolution for 2012 is to live every day by this song.

1: “Someone Like You (Live in Her Home)” by Adele: This is it. This was my favorite song of 2011. The last time I had a song hit me in the gut like this was when Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” was released back in 1991. On my list of all-time favorite songs ever, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is top of the list. I don’t think there’s ever been a time I listened to it that I didn’t tear up a bit or outright cry. The emotion of the lyrics and the sadness dripping off of Bonnie’s voice has held a place in my heart for the better part of 21 years. I’ve heard a lot of sad songs in that time, but never had one to even compare to my favorite…until now.

I love a good heartbreak song and it doesn’t get any more heartbreaking than “Someone Like You”. Adele took a painful, real-life breakup and wrote a masterpiece out of the pain. The song itself is so simple, which is really what makes it so elegant and beautiful. It’s a story about running into an ex-boyfriend, years down the road, and admitting that you still love him. And here he is, with this beautiful life and beautiful wife, and all of these things that you wanted with him, but he just didn’t want with you. You try not to be bitter, you try to be positive and say that you’ll move on, but in the end, you know that every man will be in the image of this man who doesn’t love you. How can you NOT clutch your chest at that? Tell me that doesn’t break your heart.

This song has resonated with people all over the world for a reason. And that reason is how real and brilliant it is. Guts me every time.

I’m choosing this live version over the album version mainly because I prefer her vocals here. There’s something about her voice when she’s singing “Don’t forget me, I beg. I’ll remember you said.” on the album version that throws me off. She’s hits a very awkward high note that seems rushed. But on the live version, that part of the song is toned down and slower, which really makes a difference for me.

Side note: 1991 really was the best year ever, right?

I usually don’t watch the news so much as I turn it on and listen to it as I wash dishes, cook supper, or browse the net. So you can imagine my shock when I looked up to see the above video. That’s when my eye caught the picture on the left hand of the postcard. I turned to my husband and said, “Hey…that looks like my photo. Wait…a…second…OMG, it is!”

That picture look familiar? It should. I took it in 2007.

That’s when my fingers flew at lightning speed to my Flickr gallery and I pulled up the photo for my husband who didn’t remember me taking it at all. For a moment I tried to think back to any Twitter or Facebook conversations I may or may not have had with any of the news staff regarding the photo. Did I give them permission and it just slipped my memory? I really dig the crew at WSAV and I didn’t want to come off as a raging photographer to folks who have been nothing but nice to me online. I forget things often and I frequently tell my husband that I think I’m losing my mind. So I very well may have given them permission to use it and it just slid off my brain and out my ear. That’s normal for me.

So I Tweeted about it and that’s when I get another Tweet telling me the same photo is being used in a Facebook group. Popular photo, no? I’m ashamed to say that I reacted in a very unladylike way at this news. I rushed over to the Facebook group demanding the photo be taken down, only to find that one of my Twitter followers…a very sweet lady I might add, is one of the admins. After much apologizing for acting like a crazed lunatic, it was all sorted out. And thankfully I didn’t lose any followers for it.

I think it’s pretty damn cool to see one of my photos on television, I just wish I had been informed of it earlier so I could’ve kept an eye out for it…or at least called my mother so she could brag about it to her girlfriends. So please people, ask next time you want to use one of my photos. It’s just common courtesy. Also, I almost never say no, so there’s a very good chance I’ll let you use the photos you want. Like any egotistical artist, I like to see my work out there for the masses, I just like to be made aware of it.:0)

That said, I’m very proud that WSAV chose to use the photo. It makes me feel good to know that someone out there liked it as much as I did. It really is a good photo. And I love WSAV. They’re such good folks, every single one of them, so if you’re one of my WSAV pals and you’re reading this, just know that I’m not mad. It was just a surprise. :)

Recommended Reading: Understanding Copyright on Flickr

Well, it’s not snowing here in Savannah…not that it ever does…and we’re still wearing summer clothing for the most part, but it is finally beginning to look like Christmas. My neighbors have all been busy this week stringing up colored LED lights and putting reindeer and snowmen on their lawns. We haven’t put our lights up yet, but I’m hoping that on my husband’s next available day off, we can start decorating. I love this time of the year with all the lights and garland and month-long holiday music on 98.7 The River. It warms my heart and makes me feel festive. :)

I pulled my Christmas tree and all of my decorations out of the closet a few days ago and am now in the process of decorating. The tree is up and looks awesome, now I need to work on my A Christmas Story village. Every year “Santa” brings me a new Department 56 piece. Last year I finally received Ralphie’s House after asking for it two years in a row. The year before that, I was given the Bumpus House. This year I’m shooting for Cleveland Elementary School and Triple Dog Dare. Piece by piece I’m creating the most fabulous Christmas village ever, because let’s face it, anything associated with “A Christmas Story” is full of all kinds of win.

Now, if Santa would just work on that snow for me, I’d be a really happy girl this year. :)

Now I know this isn’t the good, or as my mother would say “Christian”, thing to do but I can’t help it. I usually get over it, but there are the times when I have been so wronged, so offended, so slighted in some fashion that I just can’t allow myself to forgive. That’s when I cut people out of my life. Doesn’t matter who it is: friend, family, whatever…if I get to “that level”, you are cut out. I don’t call you. I don’t write. I don’t send cards for birthdays or Christmas. You’re just snipped right out of the picture.

The amazing part? It doesn’t bother me one iota to cut people out. For example: a few years ago my mother and I had a major disagreement on the subject of disciplining my son. My mother took it to a very dramatic and completely uncalled for level and having had quite enough, I hung up on her. My husband, hearing this argument and seeing how upset she had made me, calmly walked into our den, took the phone from my hands, called my mother, and proceeded to tell her off in the nicest way possible. This appalled my mother, because how dare anyone tell her she was wrong. At that moment, I cut my mother out of my life until I felt she was worthy to be glued back in. This lasted almost five months. I didn’t call. I didn’t write. I didn’t return messages. Done. The only reason I lifted the shun was because my cousin was having a baby shower and I knew there would be drama if I didn’t suck it up and make peace beforehand. Had it not been for dear Maggie having her sweet baby boy, I honestly don’t think I would’ve glued my mother back in so short a time. But made peace we did and my mother hasn’t broached the topic of discipline with me again. I call that a lesson learned. She now knows that there is a line in the sand you don’t cross, and if you do, you know what will happen.

You see, there is one cardinal law in the land of Dizzy: Thou shalt not DELIBERATELY piss off or offend. People break this law in little ways every day and I let it go. It could be the snotty teenager on the cell who just cut me off in traffic. I can let that go. It could be the co-worker who won’t pull their weight. I usually say something to correct the situation and I let it go. It could be the fact that my husband blows his nose in the shower and I have to fuss before he comes to wipe his slimy boogers off the shower wall before I’ll step into it. He’s towing a very dangerous line into Cutville, but I love him and of course I let it go…but not before ranting and yelling about respect and threatening divorce if he ever does it again. You see, I can cut you out of my life and it doesn’t bother me. No seriously, it doesn’t. I don’t cry over missing you. I don’t get upset. Of course I still love you and think about you and regret that it has to get to this point, but cutting people out of my life doesn’t affect me one bit. I know this sounds cold, but you have to understand that this is my way of dealing with a stressful situation. It’s not right, but it’s the only way I can cope.

Why am I this way? One word: Dad. My father was the epitome of evil. Look up “bad father” in the dictionary and I’m sure there will be a picture of him. He abused everyone around him in the worst ways possible, especially his children. We were beat. We had bruises. I could go on and on with the horror stories, but I won’t. Growing up was not fun. It was not pleasant. None of us enjoyed it. We all couldn’t wait to get out. I speak for myself when I say that after enduring 17 years of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect and love me, I made a concrete decision at a very early age that once I was on my own and no longer under his control that I wouldn’t allow anyone to treat me bad. And I’ve stuck to that. I don’t let people talk to me any way they want to. No-one has ever laid another finger on me. I have this tough outer shell from the scar tissue of years and years of abuse and I wear it as a shield to deflect the bad.

All of this brings me to a very unique and heartbreaking inhabitant of Cutville…a family member. I love this particular person more than words can describe. She’s one of my best friends. I adore her. I’ve always looked up to her. And while we’ve always butted heads, we’ve never gotten to the point where I won’t talk to her…until this last March. I won’t go into the sordid details, because I know she reads this blog and I don’t want to rehash anything, but I’ll just say that this person came to visit and left two days later after a huge blow-up. Things were said on both sides and we haven’t spoken since. I haven’t taken her phone calls. I haven’t responded to messages. Done. I don’t know if it would’ve gotten this far had she not said that she had nothing to apologize for and that she was not wrong. That was the kicker with me. How can you act really bad and not accept responsibility?

So I cut her out. With every snip it broke my heart. But I know me and I know that for me to forgive, she has to accept the fact she was wrong in how she acted. I want an apology. More importantly, I’m owed an apology. This isn’t just me being an asshole and demanding one. I’m owed it for the things said to me, the things said to my husband, the disruption of my household, and the general way she left things. I’m owed that. Did I say things I shouldn’t have? Oh yeah, I did. But the point here is that I never would’ve treated her the way she treated me and left the way she did. I can’t forgive that without an apology, regardless of who you are.

I will be the first to admit when I’m wrong. I’m constantly eating crow and apologizing for something I’ve said or didn’t say or something I did. I don’t mind apologizing. I know I’m a flawed human being. I own up to the things I do. But how do I deal with someone who is never wrong? Someone who won’t apologize, but know that they should?

Every day that I don’t talk to her has broken my heart. I feel like I’ve lost a best friend and a family member. I’ve missed calling her when her grandson was born, even though I desperately wanted to. I’ve missed calling on her birthday so I slipped and sent her a card…which in itself is amazing and goes a long way to show how much I love this person, but it’s not the same as picking up the phone and telling someone that you love them and that they mean something to you. Christmas is coming and I’ll send a card, but it won’t be the same as calling her and sharing the day. I’m too stubborn to make the first move and flat-out refuse to…and she’s doing the same on her end. We both need to grow up and make the first move, but we’re both so headstrong and full of pride that we won’t and with every passing day, we both continue to hurt one another.

So I’m asking you…how do I forgive? Should I just eat up all those things she said and call? If I do, I know another argument will ensue, because we’ve got to get this out. It’s not finished. So many things were left unsaid and we’re both so stubborn that we’ll both have to get them out to feel resolution and I’m afraid it will lead to another argument. But I have to be honest here, my walls are breaking down a bit and I miss this person in my life and I’m torn as to what to do. I love her so much and even though I’m still angry, I know that I can’t continue to not speak to her, but I can’t be the first person to apologize, especially when I feel I wasn’t in the wrong. My husband sees how the situation is paining me and is encouraging me to move first…but I won’t. My mother also sees this situation and how far it’s gotten and is encouraging me to move first…but I won’t. I can’t be the first person to move across that line. My pride won’t let me. My hurt feelings won’t let me. The principal of it all won’t let me.

And so here we are. What to do? :(

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Wallace & Gromit, Joe Dirt, The Spirit, and The Wrestler can be available for pickup tomorrow @ 1:30pm. Let me know if this is an available time for you
Thanks

“Awesome”, said I. Then I went back and read the listing again and saw that some were burned copies, not originals. I decided that I was no longer interested in getting them and I knew he wouldn’t want them, so I emailed the lady back at 7am with this:

Thanks for the response. I was going to get them for my brother, but he just told me that he didn’t need them after all. I appreciate it though. Thanks again. :)

A nice gesture seeing that most people on Craigslist will leave you hanging and waiting around all day without an email or a call. I gave the lady more that enough notice that I no longer wanted them. I thought I was doing a good deed. Apparently not, because I woke up to these three emails:

I am checkin to see if you are still coming today? I think I have you down to pickup around 1:30. My address is – removed -. Please email me back if you can come~if not I will have to gift to others
THanks

I have been here waiting. Your time was supposed to be at 1:30. If your not here by 230 then I will gift to others

disregard previous email. I cannot wait if you cannot show at appt time. As of right now, the only ones available to you are the wrestler, joe dirt. call me for another time

I read the emails and I’m a little pissed. Okay, so I sent you an email at seven this morning and you have time to email me three times in 30 minutes but NOT read the email I sent you? Come on now. So I sent her this back:

I replied back to you at 7:28 this morning. Here is the email:

On Sun, Nov 22, 2009 at 7:28 AM wrote:
Thanks for the response. I was going to get them for my brother, but he just told me that he didn’t need them after all. I appreciate it though. Thanks again. :)

So I sent that email, thought about it for another minute and decided that I just wasn’t going to let her off the hook for being a dumbass. So I sent this email right back:

I’m sorry that you didn’t see my email, but as you can see…I responded EARLY this morning. Thank you.

I swear to God, not three minutes later I get this email:

yes, i got your email and waited. no show. I have the ones in the previous email~wrestler and Joe dirt. If you can come pickup tomorrow after 5 that would be great(Monday)

*blinks* Okay, so you admit that you read my email, but you still think I want the movies even after I’ve told you three times that I don’t? I don’t get what’s so hard to understand about this. I’m clearly dealing with a genius here. So I wrote this back:

As stated in the previous emails, I don’t need to pick up the movies. I was going to get them for my brother, but he doesn’t want them. Thank you.

I didn’t get an email back for four whole hours and then ten minutes ago I receive this gem:

well as much as i hate to hear that, that’s fine. I just really would have appreciated a phone call instead of waiting around and having my children be antsy when we had plans.

Are you kidding me?!? You’re going to blame me because your kids had to wait around all day and got “antsy”? Bullshit. I’m clearly pissed at this point and I fire off this email:

I really don’t understand what was so hard about you reading my initial email at 7:30 this morning. I stated CLEARLY that I was no longer interested in the DVDs. I tried to at least to be courteous and give you a heads-up instead of just leaving you hanging like most people would. I’ve stated in five emails now that I don’t want them. If you waited, it’s your fault. I sent you an email early this morning so you wouldn’t wait, but you keep emailing me to set up a time to pick them up.

I don’t think I was rude anywhere in my emails and it’s kind of sad that I’m having to do so now. I am not a mean or rude person and I really do not like responding to people like this, but you’ve sort of forced my hand. I tried to give you a heads-up that I was no longer interested in the movies. I told you that I didn’t need them countless times, but you keep sending me emails. At this point, I’m at a loss as to how to handle this. You clearly are not getting it. You clearly are not understanding that I don’t want them. You clearly do not understand that you waited all day because you didn’t read my email. I’m sorry your kids got antsy, but that’s not my fault, that’s yours. I’m not going to call you at 7 in the morning to tell you that I no longer want them. An email is sufficient.

Please don’t email me anymore. This is ridiculous. I really do not have time for this.

As stated in the footer of her emails, she is a property manager for a Pooler subdivision. I feel bad for the people she works for and the people she manages, and if she handles her business any way that she’s handled this whole movie business, then damn.

I’m waiting with bated breath for her next intelligent email. I wonder what she’ll blame me for this time? War? Famine? Broken nail? Geezus, people piss me off. I hate having to take this to my blog, but this lady was just asking for it. And I don’t mind giving it.

UPDATE: I’ve been referring to this lady as the “Craigslist Lady”. It just occurred to me that I found her on Freecycle Savannah. My bad. Still doesn’t take away the ridiculousness of the situation.

Of course I just received this final email. I say final because I’m now blocking her:

i received a blank email from you~no worries. I will let the moderator know all about this,
and God Bless you

Wow, really? So you’ve harassed me all day long and accused me of making your kids antsy and now you say “no worries”? What a pill. I don’t know this woman from Adam to Eve, though her name DOES sound oddly familiar, and she may be really lovely in person, but she has come off as a complete dolt in my exchanges with her. I don’t see how she could’ve interpreted me wanting the movies after all the emails I sent her saying I didn’t. It just boggles the mind. And now she’s going to let the moderator know? Please do. OMG, please do that. I beg you. And make sure to send them all the emails I sent you, because if they contact me, you’d better believe I’m going to supply them.

Word of advice Freecycle Lady: Read every single word of the emails people send you. When they say they don’t want something, don’t badger them. People tend not to like that. If someone asks if something is still available, don’t automatically assume you can demand they show up at a certain time. In fact, make sure the people want it before you assume you can just schedule them in. Also, don’t try to throw the blame on them because you’re too lazy to read an email. K? K. Awesome.

I need a Tylenol.

These are some of my favorite songs at the moment. Take a listen and let me know what you like. My hope is that you’ll find something you haven’t heard before. It’s all about discovering new music. So enjoy. :)

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Anya Marina – Satellite Heart
Download audio file (Anya Marina – Satellite Heart.mp3)
I’ve always liked Anya Marina, so when I discovered that she was a part of the “New Moon” soundtrack, I became very giddy..and then a little sad that she and other beloved Indie darlings had sold out to the hormonally crazed teenage wasteland that is the Twilight saga. Don’t get me wrong, I love the books just as much as the next 30′something mother, but I’m officially over the hype. I get it…Rob Pattinson is hot and merely looking at his hair impregnates girls. I get it…Kristin Stewart hates all of you and thinks you’re all stupid and she couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper sack…but she’s gonna take your money anyway. I get it…anyone over 16 who likes the books or the movie are considered losers by the snotty teenage girls who spend Mommy and Daddy’s money on Edward Cullen panties and go around begging him to bite them on the neck…then accuse us older ladies of being weirdos. Gotcha. I’m…over…the…hype! Just let me enjoy the books, don’t ruin the movies, and keep all those angry little teenage girls away from me, okay?

So yeah, back to Anya. I love the raw emotion she puts into her songs. Her voice is so amazing and unique. And despite the fact that she has this little Twilight stain against her, I still adore her because of songs like this.

Fefe Dobson – I Want You
Download audio file (Fefe Dobson – I Want You.mp3)
You know, I’ve never been a fan of Fefe Dobson. It’s not that I didn’t like her music, I just sort of looked over it and could never really get into it. But when I heard this song in a commercial for the movie “Whip It”, I was like, “Ohhh…must have precious”. Now I’m the biggest Fefe Dobson fan. Girl can rock! I’m such a Johnny-Come-Lately at times.

I should add that the “Whip It” soundtrack is going to go down as one of my favorite movie soundtracks of all time. There’s a lot of really great music, so if you get a chance, check it out. Also, I took one of those Facebook quizzes and my Roller Derby name is: BRAWLY VENDETTA. How badass is that?

Franz Ferdinand – Bite Hard
Download audio file (Franz Ferdinand – Bite Hard.mp3)
Those of you who listened to Episode 103 of Sound Check with CK will recognize this as the song that started out the Dizzy Girl episode. I’ve always been a big FF fan and the song was sort of perfect for the episode. It rocks my socks. Oh and if you haven’t listened to Episode 103, then you really need to. I picked some really great songs, if I do say so myself. *grins* And while you’re over there, check out all of the past shows. If you’re a fan of good music and you’re not listening to it, then you’re really missing out. Sound Check is the best music podcast on the net…period. I tell no lies. ;)

Holly Conlan – You Are Goodbye
Download audio file (Holly Conlan – You Are Goodbye.mp3)
I’ve been singing this song for weeks now, so it only made sense to include it.

The Brooke – Under the Milky Way
Download audio file (The Brooke – Under the Milky Way.mp3)
There’s been a lot of covers of this song over the years, and while none of them come close to the original by The Church, I will say that this is probably my favorite of the covers. The Brooke is a fairly new discovery for me, but I have to say, I’m loving her covers, especially “Stray Cat Strut” and “Landslide”.

Sia – Under the Milky Way
Download audio file (Sia – Under the Milky Way.mp3)
Heard this a couple months back in a commercial for Lincoln MKT and got really excited. I love Sia, I love this song, and oddly enough, I love car commercials that feature Indie goodness. It’s the small things in life, ya know? :)

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I think it’s only fair that I throw The Church into this post, seeing as two covers of “Under the Milky Way” are included. Here’s the video for the original, full of bad 80′s music video effects, Aqua Net, and cheesy hipster sunglasses. God, I miss the 80′s.

If you love good music, then you really need to check out the show. CK does a lot of classic rock, music from the 80′s and 90′s, and he throws in some new stuff from time to time. There’s a lot of listener involvement in the show and requests make up a good portion of the show, and CK encourages everyone to take part. In short, it’s really the best music podcast around and I encourage you all to take a listen.

So back to the playlist…

I started adding all of these songs that I wanted others to hear. Seeing as my episode – Episode 103 – was going to be in October, I thought, “Okay, I’m going to find 10 of my favorite spooky songs” to add a theme to the episode.

That list lasted about five minutes.

So I scrapped that last and decided that I was going to put together a list of my all-time favorites. So I started adding songs and the list got to 10…then 20…then 30…then 32 songs! Um…yeah, this was going to be a problem. You see, I can’t just pick ONE favorite song, I’m just not capable of doing it. And yes, I have a core group of favorites, but there were other songs that I wanted to share. And some of the songs I wanted to share had already been played in previous episodes, and seeing as I didn’t want to repeat myself, I had to take them out. Hmm…that’s a problem.

This list last lasted about five days.

That’s when I decided that I was going to add some of my favorite songs, some of my favorite artists, and some songs that I love that Sound Check listeners may not have heard before. Twenty or thirty revisions later, I finalized a list and sent them in and here we are…Episode 103 of Sound Check, the very first installment of the Check List series. Huzzah!

The songs below the cut are all of the songs that you’re going to hear in the episode. I’ve given an explanation of why I picked each song. You’ll also find a list of songs that didn’t make the cut that I REALLY wanted in the episode, but had to cut them for one reason or another. There were a lot of my all-time favorite songs that I didn’t add. I started out with these songs, but I have to say, the entire process was organic and it really took a life of it’s own. I plan on doing a blog post here in the next few with my list of all-time favorite songs, so if you’re interested to know the ones I cherish more than anything else, you can keep checking back. A few songs from this list are included in this episode, but like I said, I either didn’t add them because they had appeared in a previous Sound Check episode or I took them out because I didn’t want to disrupt the “flow” of the show.

So I hope you all enjoy the episode. I’d love your feedback on the music and the show in general. You can leave one here or over at the Sound Check homepage. And thanks again to CK for inviting me to do this. It was a blast!

Click the cut below to see more about the songs I picked…and didn’t pick.

The songs below are in the order that they are played in the episode. So if you don’t know the name of a song, just refer to the list below. :)

Franz Ferdinand: Bite Hard: I’m a big FF fan, and I had originally decided to use “No You Girls”, but went with this song instead because I loved the way it began and knew it would make a great episode opener.

Spoon: I Turn My Camera On: This is the song that is usually running through my head when I’m out taking pictures. It really gets me going. You could say that it’s my “photography theme song”.

Bill Withers: Ain’t No Sunshine: Bill Withers is from an area about an hour from where I was born and raised. Love the fact that he’s a fellow Mountaineer. This song is an absolute classic. A hundred years from now, people will still be loving it. I love the desperation and soul in the the words and the delivery. “I know…I know…I know…I know…”

Van Morrison: Brown Eyed Girl: I always sort of thought of this as my personal theme song. I remember singing this very loudly with my girlfriends when it would come on. We’d dance around in stores, in our rooms, wherever. We were all brown eyed girls. It makes me feel good. It cheers me up. You can’t help but love it.

Bonnie Raitt: Love Me Like a Man: “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt is #2 on of my list of all-time favorite songs. When I was putting my list together, I found that there were a lot of slow, sad songs and I didn’t want the episode to be too melancholy, so chose this one, which has been a favorite for years and years. Bonnie kills it. I like it because it’s sexy and direct to the point. This is what we want, men!

Joan Jett – Do You Wanna Touch: I’m a child of the 80′s…so of course I love me some Joan Jett. This song kicks ass. And it fit really well in the little four block that I included it in.

The Georgia Satellites: Keep Your Hands to Yourself: Just one of those songs that I love to sing out loud when it comes on the radio. I love how cheeky it is.

Bad Company: Feel Like Makin’ Love: HUGE fan of Bad Company. I had originally wanted to include “Ready for Love”, but didn’t want too many slow songs. Went with this classic instead.

Alison Krauss and Union Station: Ghost in This House: Being from WV, I’m a big fan of bluegrass.I was raised listening to it – from my Dad’s records to singing in the church. It was everywhere and it’s one of those genres that I really hold dear to my heart. I’m also a big fan of progressive acoustic and Americana, which AKUS also fits into. I can only describe Alison Krauss and Union Station as absolutely brilliant. This is is my favorite song from them. I had the pleasure of seeing them in concert a couple years ago and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I’ve never, and probably will never, attend a concert on that level. My hubby and I were able to meet the band afterward, with the exception of Alison, and they were so nice. If they ever make gay marriage legal, I think my husband may leave me for Dan Tyminski, who is pretty much his idol. They are true legends in the bluegrass world. Shenandoah originally sang this song, but AKUS perfected it.

P.S. I kid about my husband. He’ll kill me if I don’t point out how very un-gay he is. Not that he has a problem with that, of course. :)

Steve Earle: Guitar Town: One of the very first songs that came to mind when I was putting the list together, but I didn’t include it. It just sort of organically added itself back in during the course of putting the playlist together.

Whiskeytown: 16 Days: One of my favorite singers in the world is Ryan Adams, so I knew that he was definitely going into the list. I wanted to add “Come Pick Me Up”, but decided at the last minute to change the song to “16 Days” from his time with Whiskeytown. I think Steve Earle was the deciding factor. This complimented “Guitar Town”.

Don Williams: I Believe in You: One of those artists that I was born listening to, was raised on, and still love to listen to today. My husband likes to sing “Til the Rivers All Run Dry” to me from time to time, which is really one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard. Personally, this is my favorite Don Williams song. It sort of explains how I look at the world around me and how I go about my daily life and what’s most important to me: living right and using the common sense God gave me, doing the best I can, accepting those around me, and loving those in my life…namely my husband and my son. The world would be a much better place if everyone would listen to this song at least once a day and try to live it.

Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock: It Takes Two: The one song that will get me up out of my seat and shaking my butt real quick. The song is 21 years old and it still kicks ass. It is classic.

Peaches: The Boys Wanna Be Her (Gary Glitter Mashup) This is my favorite workout song. When I really want to sweat, I throw this on repeat and just go to town. I love the original, but the mashup just knocks my socks off. I’m a big fan of Peaches. She reminds me a lot of 80′s Joan Jett.

Beck: Go It Alone: Big fan of Beck. He’s brilliant. I couldn’t decide between this song and “Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime”. It literally came down to the flip of a coin. This song won, which worked for me, because it rocks and really fits with the other songs in the playlist. Also, it has Jack White on it…and I do love that man.

Raconteurs: Steady As She Goes: I’m a huge fan of Jack White, and instead of going with the obligatory White Stripes song, I decided to go with something a little different. The Raconteurs are one of his side groups and I think this song is just fun. Also, this has been my favorite cell ring tone for my like two years. Well, this and Beck’s “Girl”, which really is the most perfect ring tone ever.

AC/DC: You Shook Me All Night Long: Come on…it doesn’t get any better than this song. It was my anthem “back in the day”. We’d go into a club with my friends and always request this song.

Fleetwood Mac: The Chain: One of the bands that my older siblings introduced me to as a very young kid and of my favorite bands now. “Rumours” came out the year I was born…as did Star Wars, which pretty much makes 1977 the best year on record…ever. Stevie Nicks has always reminded me of my older sister Becky. When I was little it always confused me. The similarities are uncanny. Another one of those “will see in concert before I die” bands. “Dreams” is my favorite Fleetwood Mac song, but this is the one I chose for the episode. Buckingham and Nicks rock my socks.

Bell X1: Eve, the Apple of My Eye: Heartbreaking, pleading, and beautiful. In my head, I have the absolute perfect video for this song. Imagine my utter disappointment when I saw the actual video…with people with giant apples as heads. Oh, Bell X1. You really should’ve come to me first! My vision was very Rococo and full of Greek tragedies. “How Your Heart is Wired” is also pretty damned amazing.

Sarah Bareilles: Gravity: This is a fairly newer song, but it’s in my top 10 favorite songs of all time. There’s so much emotion. I cried the first time I heard it. I had reservations about adding it at first, because it’s so slow, but in the end I decided it was too good NOT to include.

Counting Crows: Murder of One: I’ve requested this song on Sound Check before…and CK has played it…but I’m a HUGE Counting Crows fan and couldn’t justify NOT including just one of their songs into the episode. This is one of my favorite Counting Crow songs.

Keane: Is It Any Wonder: Technically, “Bedshaped” is my favorite Keane song, but I wanted to include something upbeat from Keane to keep my playlist from being too slow for your listeners. I don’t want them to think I’m depressed all the time! This is one of my favorite bands in the entire world and right up there near the top of my “will see in concert before I die” list. Also, this song has a very U2 “Achtung Baby” feel to it, which I love.

Dixie Chicks: Godspeed (Sweet Dreams): This is the song I used to sing to my son when he was little. It’s still my special song to him. There has never been a time, not once, that I haven’t just broken down in a big ball of emotion when I’ve listened to this song. I really feel like it was written for my son.

Songs that didn’t make it that I really wanted to include:

Chris Isaak: Wicked Game
Patsy Cline: She’s Got You
Bob Seger: Night Moves
Jann Arden: She’s Got You
Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong: Dream a Little Dream of Me
Snow Patrol: Run
Nickel Creek: When You Come Back Down
Don Henley: Heart of the Matter
Etta James: Sunday Kind of Love
The Eagles: Witchy Woman
Black Crowes: Twice As Hard
Crowded House: Don’t Dream It’s Over
Johnny Cash: Cry, Cry, Cry
Mindy Smith: Hurricane
Mindy Smith: Come to Jesus
Dusty Springfield: Spooky

There is something very wrong about the petition and I think we all need to take a good look at it and remember the names of those who sign it. Personally, I’m really disappointed to see some of my favorites – Wes Anderson, Terry Gilliam, David Lynch. My husband and I were talking earlier about the fact that I’m very good at separating a person’s politics and their art. I can disagree with someone so vehemently and still be a fan of their movies or music or what have you.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know if I’ll enjoy watching movies by any of those people knowing that they think it’s alright for a man to drug and force himself on a child. What does that say about them? Do they think this is cool? That by signing the petition that it’ll win them over in anyone’s favor? Because if they are, then they are mightily delusional.

The fact that there are WOMEN who signed their names to that petition is equally disturbing. Monica Bellucci, who I’ve admired for years, is another disappointment. Have any of you ever seen “Irreversible”? There is a nine minute rape scene in the movie that is so real and so disturbing that you almost have to turn away. I had to actually stop the movie and wait a couple of days before I could finish the scene just to see the rest of the movie. You really feel like you’re watching a woman get raped.

And then there’s Tilda Swinton, who is such an amazing actress, and a strong woman in real life. Have you ever seen “The War Zone”? It took me a week to finish it. The father in the movie has been raping his daughter since she was a young girl and there’s a very graphic scene towards the middle of the movie where the son actually witnesses it. It’s so disturbing to watch. Afterward, you feel like you should take a hot shower and scrub the movie off of you. Brilliant movie, but hard to watch.

And now, to see these two women add their names on that list, I’m just without words. You can’t be a strong woman, fighting for feminist causes, and then add your name to something like that. They’ve both made movies that deal with sexual assault, you’d think they’d know better and stand up and say something!

At this point, it’s just the principal of the fact. I say let Hollyweird and their ilk stand up for the man. I expected nothing less than from a bunch of scumbags. Who are they to the rest of us who know right from wrong and live in the real world where if you do horrible things, there are consequences? They’re used to having everything handed to them and never hearing the word “no” and believing they are never wrong. They are above the law apparently. How many celebrities are in jail for DUI, manslaughter, drugs? Not many. They get a slap on the wrist while the rest of us get thrown under the jail. At this point, it’s expected that they’ll get off the hook for their little “indiscretions”. There’s no justice in the land of excess. Taking advantage of young girls is common place…just ask Woody Allen, who is throwing his support behind his buddy Polanski. Shocker there.

Well, we are better than that and we need to start sending a message that we just won’t put up with their shit anymore. And there’s no better way than with our wallets.

If this were the real world and he wasn’t a big name celebrity, he would be sitting in jail, and EVERY celebrity in the world would be outraged. But he’s their pal…and don’t forget the fact that he’s a “genius”…so it’s alright. And how dare we ignorant, mean Americans do this to him? Hasn’t he paid for his crimes enough already? I mean, he hasn’t been able to step back on American soil for years. Poor thing. He’s been living in France with his wife and children, tucked away from civilization for all these years, repenting and thinking about what he did with no-one to talk to or confide in and no-one to stand up for him. And he lost so much work. I mean, look at all he’s suffered because of that little Lolita!

Er…wait a second, that’s not how it happened at all! But don’t tell, Hollyweird. They’re under the illusion he’s been cast down all these years and that he’s the victim.

Are you kidding me?

Recommended Reading:
Hot Air: Name ‘em and shame ‘em
The Anchoress: A Study in Contrasts

Stop defending the man! That goes for the rest of you morons who think that Roman Polanski is some sort of genius who shouldn’t have to pay for his crimes. Read the two links I provided and you tell me what is rape and what isn’t. She said “no” more than once and she was afraid. This is all a matter of public record. But it isn’t “rape” because her mother knew she was with him.

*brain explodes*

I was a 13 year old girl once and I can tell you right now, if a 40 year old man had encouraged me to take photos without clothes off, then gave me champagne and drugs, and had sex with me, I would be scared. And yes, it would be rape.

You know, there’s a lot of personal things that I don’t share on this blog. As much as I love sharing my life, I don’t feel like there are things that you all need to know. I have strong opinions about a lot of things and I don’t mind throwing them out there, but there’s a lot of things that I keep closed up, because I still enjoy my privacy and I want my family to have theirs.

That said, there have been many times over the last nine years when I’ve wanted to share what I’m about to share. I haven’t, because I didn’t feel like I was ready to just throw it out there for everyone to read and to judge me. But this Roman Polanski business has been the breaking point for me and now I’m going to share something that happened to me, so maybe you’ll understand why I’m so upset about it and why all of these Polanski defenders have me past the boiling point.

I was sexually molested when I was maybe nine or ten years old by someone in my family. I have family that reads this blog, some of whom know what I’m speaking of, but some who don’t. I won’t go into the identity of this person on this blog, but I will say that this person is someone in my immediate sphere. Not blood-related, but a constant the whole time I was growing up.

This person did not rape me or have intercourse with me – thank God, but he did do things to me that were inappropriate. He touched me in places that he shouldn’t have. He tried to get me to do things to him. He kissed me in a way that he shouldn’t have, even after I told him “no” and that I didn’t like it.

He told me not to tell anyone and that if I did, everyone would be mad at me. He told me that my father, who was very abusive and beat us regularly as it was, would beat me more if he found out. He did this to me twice while we were alone. After that, I was never alone with him again. Even at that age, I knew that what he was doing was wrong and I made sure that he wasn’t going to do it again.

I remember feeling scared and helpless. I didn’t tell anyone at first, though I did finally mention it to the wife of the man, and she accused me of lying and I never brought it up with her again. I was too afraid to go to my father, because I knew that I would get the bloody hell beat out of me. My father would’ve killed me and I am not joking about that. He would’ve killed me. I was also afraid of people being mad at me. I felt like I had done something to make this person do these things to me. I was just a child, unable to defend myself out of fear, and with no-one to stand up for me.

But the abuse didn’t stop there. Unable to do anything else to me physically, this person would rub up against me if he saw me alone. He would whisper to me in passing that he had thought of me while he was having sex with his wife. I heard those words more times than I care to count. He also told me that he wanted to have sex with me. I would stand there uncomfortable, no words coming from my mouth, and praying to be out of his presence. There were times I had to be in the same car with him alone and he would always make me sit in the front seat, where he would tell me disgusting things and try to feel my leg.

I refused to be alone with this person if I possibly could, because he made me feel dirty and uncomfortable and I knew that given the opportunity, he would try to have sex with me and I was afraid he wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Do I believe he would’ve raped me? No, I don’t think he would’ve, but I have NO DOUBT in my mind that he would’ve tried to talk me into sex.

This happened until was maybe 17 years old, when it stopped for the most part. I don’t know if it’s because I had gotten older and able to defend myself against his words or because he had lost interest in his little game. In any event, I’m glad it stopped. Even now, I feel very uncomfortable in his presence. My husband knows about this person and what he did to me and he won’t get around him, and that’s probably a good thing, because I imagine the man would come out worse for wear from it.

I have lived with this guilt and this “smudge” on my innocence my whole life. Granted, I’m luckier than a lot of children who’ve been molested and my story isn’t nearly horrific, but I share this to make a point. And the point is, a child is a child, whether they are 10 or 13. And when a grown man takes advantage of a child and uses guilt or fear to have sex with them, then it’s rape. I’m sorry, but it is. Roman Polanski raped that girl, and while I appreciate her stance on it now, the fact remains that she was scared, she said “no”, and he didn’t stop. He took advantage of her. And everyone defending him and saying this isn’t “rape-rape” or that because somehow he’s a brilliant director that he should be forgiven are spitting in not only my face, but the faces of children everywhere who’ve had someone take advantage of them. Theses morons don’t know what it’s like to have this done and the impact it has on you, even into adulthood. I could go into how I feel about sex and why I still don’t like for people to touch me, but I won’t. That’s as personal as I’m going to get.

And yes, I called all of you Polanski defenders morons. Own it. Stop being morons and I’ll stop calling you out for it. The girl was 13 years old. He took advantage of her. He got her drunk, gave her drugs, and then had sex with her. There’s a word for what he did…it’s called rape. If he weren’t a celebrity, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. He’d be in jail right now…period. And the only reason he isn’t in jail is because he fled the country instead of being a man and paying for his crimes. It could’ve happened 100 years ago and it still wouldn’t excuse what he did, and just because he was so yellow that he hasn’t set a foot back in the country during all these years means that what he did should be thrown aside and that justice shouldn’t be rendered.

Yes, he’s a fantastic director. I don’t think anyone is denying this. But does that really give him a pass for what he did? And it begs to question, how many times did this happen that no-one knew about? I have a hard time believing this is the ONLY time he had sex with an underage girl. I’m not saying this as truth, it’s just an opinion, but it’s one to think about.

You look at YOUR 13 year old daughter or niece and you tell me what YOU would call it if a grown ass man did that to her. Would it be okay if he was a celebrity? Come on people, common sense. Parents, protect your children and NEVER give them a reason not to be able to come to you if something like this happens. Do not throw them out for the lions like this girl’s mother did. She’s as much to blame as Polanski.

I’d like to warn anyone who even thinks of defending that man in a comment to go ahead and click the little red “x” in the top right hand corner of the page. I don’t want to read it. And if you’ve come here to judge me, I suggest you do the same.

Recommended Reading:
My Bottle’s Up: “rape rape”