Today is Open House at my son’s school and the realization that he is starting middle school this year hit me like a ton of bricks last night when I went to bed. It took about one minute for the tears to start when I realized that my little boy wasn’t so little anymore. He wasn’t this cute little baby…my sweet little man…the little boy who plays with Transformers toys and laughs hysterically at the mention of “butts”. He’s 11 years old now and out of elementary school and a whole new world begins for him in three days. And with this new world begins responsibility and acting like a young man. It’s the first giant step he’s going to take out of childhood into the scary realm of “teenager”.

I was, and still am, pretty devastated by all of this. I actually broke down and started sobbing and telling my husband that I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me to walk him into the middle school this afternoon and show him around his new school. I could actually feel my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces in my chest. Even now, as I type this, I have tears in my eyes and my chest is welling up with sadness and I know any moment now that I’m going to start crying again. When it happens, and believe me it’s going to happen, my son will probably give me his standard “Mom, why are you acting like a lunatic???” look and move on to something else, leaving me to think about the day I brought him home from the hospital, his first step, his first word, his first day of school. Oh my gawd…his first day of school. *and the tears start*

Wouldn’t it be nice to keep our children young for just a little longer? Wouldn’t it be nice to have the power to hit a magical “STOP” button and enjoy what’s left of their childhood for just a little more? I just want my son to stay young for as long as he can and I don’t think it’s fair that he’s growing up so fast that I can barely keep up.

All I see when I look at him right now is this sweet little boy who loves to pick me weeds and call them flowers. A child who has this contagious, amazing laugh that is so innocent and cute. A child who has been taking his Daddy to bed for every single night for 10 years. My little man who is getting so big, but is still small enough to crawl up on my legs, wrap his arms around my neck, and gives me the sweetest sugars on my cheek while he says, “I love you Mommy”.

My heart is breaking. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through today. Call me crazy, call me dramatic, but I think you mothers out there will understand my sorrow. Say a little prayer for me today. I’m going to need it.