Someone needs to tell Whoopi Goldberg to read this and this before she says something stupid like a 40 year old man having sex with a 13 year old girl isn’t rape. Not “rape-rape”, eh? Are you serious, Whoopi? Disgusting.

Stop defending the man! That goes for the rest of you morons who think that Roman Polanski is some sort of genius who shouldn’t have to pay for his crimes. Read the two links I provided and you tell me what is rape and what isn’t. She said “no” more than once and she was afraid. This is all a matter of public record. But it isn’t “rape” because her mother knew she was with him.

*brain explodes*

I was a 13 year old girl once and I can tell you right now, if a 40 year old man had encouraged me to take photos without clothes off, then gave me champagne and drugs, and had sex with me, I would be scared. And yes, it would be rape.

You know, there’s a lot of personal things that I don’t share on this blog. As much as I love sharing my life, I don’t feel like there are things that you all need to know. I have strong opinions about a lot of things and I don’t mind throwing them out there, but there’s a lot of things that I keep closed up, because I still enjoy my privacy and I want my family to have theirs.

That said, there have been many times over the last nine years when I’ve wanted to share what I’m about to share. I haven’t, because I didn’t feel like I was ready to just throw it out there for everyone to read and to judge me. But this Roman Polanski business has been the breaking point for me and now I’m going to share something that happened to me, so maybe you’ll understand why I’m so upset about it and why all of these Polanski defenders have me past the boiling point.

I was sexually molested when I was maybe nine or ten years old by someone in my family. I have family that reads this blog, some of whom know what I’m speaking of, but some who don’t. I won’t go into the identity of this person on this blog, but I will say that this person is someone in my immediate sphere. Not blood-related, but a constant the whole time I was growing up.

This person did not rape me or have intercourse with me – thank God, but he did do things to me that were inappropriate. He touched me in places that he shouldn’t have. He tried to get me to do things to him. He kissed me in a way that he shouldn’t have, even after I told him “no” and that I didn’t like it.

He told me not to tell anyone and that if I did, everyone would be mad at me. He told me that my father, who was very abusive and beat us regularly as it was, would beat me more if he found out. He did this to me twice while we were alone. After that, I was never alone with him again. Even at that age, I knew that what he was doing was wrong and I made sure that he wasn’t going to do it again.

I remember feeling scared and helpless. I didn’t tell anyone at first, though I did finally mention it to the wife of the man, and she accused me of lying and I never brought it up with her again. I was too afraid to go to my father, because I knew that I would get the bloody hell beat out of me. My father would’ve killed me and I am not joking about that. He would’ve killed me. I was also afraid of people being mad at me. I felt like I had done something to make this person do these things to me. I was just a child, unable to defend myself out of fear, and with no-one to stand up for me.

But the abuse didn’t stop there. Unable to do anything else to me physically, this person would rub up against me if he saw me alone. He would whisper to me in passing that he had thought of me while he was having sex with his wife. I heard those words more times than I care to count. He also told me that he wanted to have sex with me. I would stand there uncomfortable, no words coming from my mouth, and praying to be out of his presence. There were times I had to be in the same car with him alone and he would always make me sit in the front seat, where he would tell me disgusting things and try to feel my leg.

I refused to be alone with this person if I possibly could, because he made me feel dirty and uncomfortable and I knew that given the opportunity, he would try to have sex with me and I was afraid he wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Do I believe he would’ve raped me? No, I don’t think he would’ve, but I have NO DOUBT in my mind that he would’ve tried to talk me into sex.

This happened until was maybe 17 years old, when it stopped for the most part. I don’t know if it’s because I had gotten older and able to defend myself against his words or because he had lost interest in his little game. In any event, I’m glad it stopped. Even now, I feel very uncomfortable in his presence. My husband knows about this person and what he did to me and he won’t get around him, and that’s probably a good thing, because I imagine the man would come out worse for wear from it.

I have lived with this guilt and this “smudge” on my innocence my whole life. Granted, I’m luckier than a lot of children who’ve been molested and my story isn’t nearly horrific, but I share this to make a point. And the point is, a child is a child, whether they are 10 or 13. And when a grown man takes advantage of a child and uses guilt or fear to have sex with them, then it’s rape. I’m sorry, but it is. Roman Polanski raped that girl, and while I appreciate her stance on it now, the fact remains that she was scared, she said “no”, and he didn’t stop. He took advantage of her. And everyone defending him and saying this isn’t “rape-rape” or that because somehow he’s a brilliant director that he should be forgiven are spitting in not only my face, but the faces of children everywhere who’ve had someone take advantage of them. Theses morons don’t know what it’s like to have this done and the impact it has on you, even into adulthood. I could go into how I feel about sex and why I still don’t like for people to touch me, but I won’t. That’s as personal as I’m going to get.

And yes, I called all of you Polanski defenders morons. Own it. Stop being morons and I’ll stop calling you out for it. The girl was 13 years old. He took advantage of her. He got her drunk, gave her drugs, and then had sex with her. There’s a word for what he did…it’s called rape. If he weren’t a celebrity, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. He’d be in jail right now…period. And the only reason he isn’t in jail is because he fled the country instead of being a man and paying for his crimes. It could’ve happened 100 years ago and it still wouldn’t excuse what he did, and just because he was so yellow that he hasn’t set a foot back in the country during all these years means that what he did should be thrown aside and that justice shouldn’t be rendered.

Yes, he’s a fantastic director. I don’t think anyone is denying this. But does that really give him a pass for what he did? And it begs to question, how many times did this happen that no-one knew about? I have a hard time believing this is the ONLY time he had sex with an underage girl. I’m not saying this as truth, it’s just an opinion, but it’s one to think about.

You look at YOUR 13 year old daughter or niece and you tell me what YOU would call it if a grown ass man did that to her. Would it be okay if he was a celebrity? Come on people, common sense. Parents, protect your children and NEVER give them a reason not to be able to come to you if something like this happens. Do not throw them out for the lions like this girl’s mother did. She’s as much to blame as Polanski.

I’d like to warn anyone who even thinks of defending that man in a comment to go ahead and click the little red “x” in the top right hand corner of the page. I don’t want to read it. And if you’ve come here to judge me, I suggest you do the same.

Recommended Reading:
My Bottle’s Up: “rape rape”