After last year’s epic Timey Wimey Fail Cake, I said I wasn’t going to do another fondant cake for my son’s birthday. I remember that it all started out as a Tardis cake, but ended up a sad blue blob with two homemade Adipose on the top with penciled in eyeballs and mouths. You could even see the lead marks. I cried for hours over that damn cake. When I think of all the marshmallows and all that Crisco and hard work that I put into it, just to have it all fall flat in the end, well it was just too much. I vowed I’d never do this again. No, I was going to be a normal mother and just buy a damn cake from Walmart or Publix. Something overpriced and too sweet. Something that no-one would eat, but still more beautiful than what I had made.

Alas, I’m a culinary masochist of the first order, and as such, have decided to go for round two. If I’m being really honest with myself, I have to admit that I took special pleasure in the whole process of making my own homemade marshmallow fondant. I think that’s why I was itching to make another. Not because I think I can actually make an awesome cake that will be the envy of all birthday cakes ever. No, it all boils down to the fact that I’m really a three year old who likes to get her hands dirty and play with food.

So, how am I going to ruin my son’s birthday this year? With a camouflage cake, that’s how. I’ve Pinterested, Youtubed, and Googled and can now say I’m armed with just enough knowledge to make this cake. Will I succeed? Who knows, probably not. Will I regret this? Probably. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.

I think one of the main problems I had last year was that I used normal food coloring instead of gel. That’s what caused my marshmallow fondant to get all screwy. I found that I wasn’t getting the color I wanted, so I kept adding drops of coloring, which compromised the consistency of the fondant. So I’m planning a trip to Michaels in the next day or so to see if I can find some gel. Other than that, I thought I did rather well with the overall structure of the cake. I cut the tops even. I layered it well. Even my poor little Adipose looked okay. It was just that damn fondant.

Wish me well and pray that this cake turns out okay. I will get it right this year. I think.